I always dread fighting in relationships. Especially that first fight. But for some reason, Addison and I actually don’t really fight. Well, at least in the normal sense of the word. We’d like to say that they are closer to “passionate disagreements.”
Addison is honestly such a sweet, mild-mannered southern gent who is 9 out of 10 times cool and collected. I’d like to say that I’m cool and collected, but being 1) female and 2) Italian makes me slightly noisy and definitely passionate about practically everything I feel.
In a weird way, it works out. And like I said, we don’t actually fight. Addison likes to say that he’s never been angry at me ever and is incapable of doing so. Honestly, he just has such a bad memory that he doesn’t remember when we do fight. Its one of the few times that his lack of memory comes in hand (*cough* my birthday, however, was not one of those times *cough*).
But while there are many reasons why I believe that Addison is “The One,” surprisingly, one of those reasons is because of our “fights.”
They always end well. They usually get resolved. And we always hug it out afterward. While sometimes they can be very frustrating, there is honestly no one in the would I’d rather argue with than Addison. We just get each other– even when we disagree.
The best example of this was the night he didn’t contact me when we were supposed to get together later. Instead, he was playing his favorite card game: Magic the Gathering. It seemed like he had just blown me off. I couldn’t find him and none of his roommates knew where he had been for hours. I started to worry…but no, he was just playing Magic and forgot to let me know any of our plans had changed.
Naturally, I was pretty upset. But when he realized how I felt, he rushed over and spilled his soul. He was so sorry and admitted messing up.
5 points for Addison.
But I still was concerned with his love for this game. I mean, he can sometimes get so focused on it that it seems like nothing else exists.
I told him I would never ask him to give up something he loved or that was his dream job (apparently there are Magic the Gathering jobs), but I was worried I wouldn’t be able to deal with this kind of obsession for a game that causes him to forget to call and disappear for hours without anyone knowing where he was.
His response? “Not that big of a dream.”
At first I was confused. But then he repeated it again.
“Nope, not that big of a dream. You are way more important than any card game.”
Pfft! Who needs points after that?
So we came up with some compromises. After all, I’m seriously not going to tell the man that I love to dump his favorite pastime for me. I wouldn’t want him to. But he really was sincere about refocusing his priorities.
It may be slightly ironic that I’m writing this while he’s away in Richmond judging a Magic the Gathering tournament this weekend, but honestly, I think it just illustrates the point more.
While I may not understand everything that he loves, I respect it. And while he may not completely understand how I feel 100 percent of the time about certain things, he tries his hardest to make it right again.
Yes, couples sometimes fight, but a couple has to be compatible in more ways than just surface or fun stuff. Everything needs to fit together- even fights. And if you find the right person, everything falls in place.
As weird as it may sound, our fights bring us closer than tear us apart.
Small things. Big dreams. 