Trying to focus

Instead of being frustrated with what I’ve recently discovered and have coined “wedding politics,” I’m going to try to renew my love for weddings which has died in a terrible fiery death of frustration. However, my mom thinks my idea will make me even more frustrated. I think I may try to do homemade favors– sugar cookie butterflies to be exact. You see…I love baking. Every Christmas I make reindeer sugar cookies from scratch and while it can sometimes take forever, I really do enjoy just baking and treating it like an art project from kindergarten. Plus I read that you can freeze sugar cookies up to 3+ months and have them still taste fresh. I’m going to see if I can make a cute enough butterfly (maybe monogrammed) while making Christmas cookies this year and if I succeed…maybe come March I’ll make my own favors?

We’ll see. I just thought maybe doing something cute for my wedding is better than hitting my head against the desk as I fill out stupid contracts and still put off finalizing my guest list.

My mission to prove virgins are cool

If you know me personally, you know I’m a proud virgin who won’t shut up about it. And honestly, the reason why is because at 19 I realized the majority of my friends were no longer virgins. Some never planned on waiting until marriage like I had, but a handful had made the commitment and broke it. One friend even asked me to lie for her. At that moment, I realized I was alone in this decision and if I was going to move forward, I needed to know why I was doing it. Putting on a ring at church at age 13 cuz everyone else was doing it wasn’t going to cut it anymore. It was a defining moment for me and unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone really to talk to about it. Either people weren’t virgins or they were closet virgins too afraid to show themselves. And that’s why I talk about it. No one was there for me.

Anywho, I got a chance today to share some real pros to waiting until marriage on a larger scale today. Thanks to the popularity of the awkward viral TLC video of a couple kissing for the first time on their wedding day, I was asked by an editor (and super awesome friend) at iVillage.com to write my own virgin diary. Hopefully it’ll show that we’re not all super awkward individuals. I know some couples personally who waited until their wedding day or until their engagement for their first kiss. I’m happy to report they didn’t look like birds pecking at a carcass.

Though I must say to the TLC couple, while your pre-wedding butterfly kisses terrify me, way to go for sticking to your guns. I know how hard it is to be a virgin in a non-virgin society. I can’t imagine not kissing until my wedding day. I think my heart would explode or I’d choke on my own nerves. In fact, i’m so nervous about our ceremony, Addison and I actually have practiced how our first kiss should look. So I commend you for really committing yourselves to something you believe in.

If you want to check out my crazy advice, click here! I’m on the front page of the health section too. Happy happy day! Though…disclaimer…they embellished the foreplay tip. I’m too much of a prude to say out loud that we’re passionate. I think it could be taken the wrong way. Also they totally snuck a pun in there that I didn’t get the first time I read it. Guess that proves I’m still a little awkward in some respects. But hey, it works for us! Oh and shockingly enough, Addison totally approved of this column before it went out. That’s my man! He’s such a trooper.

Hopefully some people will be encouraged by it. But I also hope no negativity arises because of it. I’ll try my best to ignore it if there is.

The happy/sad person conundrum

I’m all smiles 99.9 percent of the time. But honestly, lately I can’t help but feel like I’m walking around like this….

But that’s ok. If you notice at the end, they’re still smiling too.

Note to Self:

Never post lyrics to Adele songs in your Facebook status. People will immediately think you broke up with someone. Whoops! Sorry, guys! No worries. Addi and I are still happy! Thanks for the concern though.

But man…I really do love this song.

Long distance music by soon-to-be famous classmate and his girl

I’m totally going to late night ramble for a moment before I get to the point. Bear through the exposition, please.

When I was in college there was a kid named Michael Alvarado. One day his manager walked into the school paper’s office, and asked for my editor because he wanted the band featured. She wasn’t there so people directed him to me. I took his card but I was like, “Geez…I hate covering music. Why do I have to cover a band?” I ended up LOVING writing the article  about this great band and despite being late to the interview (which I still feel terrible about), the band’s lead, Michael, wrote a glowing email about me to my editor. I got a promotion. It was fabulous. And the real kicker is I actually loved his music (I’m not much of a music person believe it or not. His stuff is really good though).

Then I was in a video class (while still working for the paper) and Michael agreed to let me do a documentary on the band and I agreed to also put it with the paper. Again, he wrote a glowing recommendation and guess what? I got promoted. Again.

So as you can tell, I have and always will have a soft spot in my heart for him and I know he’ll be famous. But now he has a super cool girlfriend who is just as talented as him. Like mind blowing. How do people like that get together? Hm?

Any who, I don’t know much about their personal stories but seeing as they both released singles about long distance relationships with each other featured in the music videos, I’m assuming they’ve went through the long distance thing too. It really captures it well and I LOVE the songs. Music videos are pretty adorable too.

Thought I’d share. And if you haven’t already, totally go buy Michael Alvarado’s EPs online. I swear the music is amazing.

A blast from the past…

So uploading that video of Addison yesterday got me looking at all my other long lost youtube videos that I had up. A lot of them are dorky, some were in the name of journalism and others were for class.

Well, I came across one video from my first Media Studies class that went through the basics of a lot of things– including how to shoot film. My first project was demonstrating various shots on a list and since I worked tons of hours in a pool hall, I figured why not kill two birds with one stone and do the project there? Addison, who is an AMAZING pool player, lovingly gave up an hour to help me film. Watching this lame video gave me the warm fuzzies. He looks like such a baby. We had just been dating barely a year at this time.

Yeah..I slip a not so nice word at the end there by accident. It was a long day.

But that pool hall brings back some memories. I really miss working there. Addison and I both met in a pool hall, one of our first dates were in a pool hall (he said he’d teach me to play pool. I asked him what would happen if he got all the shots in, running the table so I couldn’t play. He said that never happened. That day it did), and we found out we won the ring in that pool hall.

I wish we had taken some engagement pictures in there. It would only be fitting. I wanted to get married in the student union because it meant so much to us, especially since the solarium is breathtaking, but it didn’t work out that way. Oh well. I’m happy with our current wedding location.

And I’m happy with my current groom. Well…my only groom. I’ve gots me a good one, folks.

A great support system

Being far away from the one you love can sometimes make you forget some of the reasons you love them. It’s kinda like when you babysit someone’s kid for a week when their parents go out of town. The littler ones will sometimes call you mommy (freaky, I know). Maybe that’s an extreme example and I’m not saying that I forget why I love Addison. Of course I know why.

But today, I had a great refresher on one of the things Addison is AMAZING at being: he’s my biggest supporter in ANYTHING. I was looking at my FlipVideo camera today and noticed some old footage left over from when I blogged for HerCampus.com/SELF Magazine about the JumpStart Diet. Addison helped me film numerous times and sometimes he would just commandeer the camera to be cute. It would be a shame to leave this footage to be forgotten on some file somewhere, so I made it into a brief little movie of his cuter moments.

My favorite was when he ate my healthy food with me while my brother and Shortsleeve ate pizza in front of us. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

But dang, may I say that watching these videos made me realize how much 15 lbs makes a difference? Geez. I’m happy to say I’ve kept off the weight from that blogging experience. Gonna lose more. But geez.

Anywho, Addison was such a great support during the whole thing (even though he did eat burgers in front of me. I guess he can’t be 100% perfect. Just 99.9% will do).

I hope I can be just as much of a support to you, Addi. Here’s a lame montage of your sickenly cuteness.

On a happier note…

This is what I’ll be walking down the aisle to. Looking for someone who can play the guitar for it live, but I’ll settle for this guy’s version of it via itunes. It’s beautiful and listening to it makes me imagine the day I’ll finally walk down those steps toward Addison all decked out in white (YES white). I wonder what it will be like during that moment. I wonder if Addison’s face will be whiter than my dress or if he’ll just be beaming. Or if he’ll just be thinking about the after party. (HA). I guess I’ll just have to wait and see…

Being engaged WHILE being single

Long distance makes being engaged tricky. On one hand you’re in a beautifully committed relationship (sealed with a gorgeous ring) and on the other hand, you’re alone during the moments that count.

I’m a pro at being third wheel or fifth wheel. Mainly because I honestly don’t need a man by my side to be a complete human being and can mingle with couples like the best of them. But of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t miss Addison. Of course I do.

Earlier this month I was invited to a party. I was so excited to go until the host decided to mention– just as a helpful warning– that I will be the only one there without someone. Ok? I think I was aware of that possibility before going in on this. But now that YOU’VE said it, I’ll take it as a sign you don’t want the symmetry of your party to collapse by the awkward not-quite-single but not-quite-with-a-date girl in the corner. I promise, new friend. I truly am the life of the party. No need to throw a disclaimer in my face. I’m quite functional without my better half. SWEARS!

But I digress. It’s just a weird dynamic though. But seeing as I’m away from most of my friends except a few old ones who still live here, it’s been a good exercise in meeting people. And I’ve met a lot! However, this is the first time I’ve ever missed people. That may sound weird, but I’m truly one of those freaks who, while I truly love our friendship, I won’t really miss you because I know I’ll be seeing you again soon and because I’m having the time of my life wherever I currently am.

But no, I do miss all my friends in NC and especially, painfully so, my fiance Addison. But on the light side of this…I have a weird way of coping with missing people.

I eat the food that makes me think of them.

Yup, I take emotional eating to a whole new level. But I don’t do this weird thing too often. But for example, today I had moose tracks ice cream. I haven’t had ice cream in a while because I’ve been dieting and making Yonanas out of frozen fruit, but this weekend I was missing Addison more than usual. Probably from talking about him to complete strangers in Cali, but that’s a whole other story. But Moose Tracks is our favorite flavor. We used to sit in our PJs or sweats and eat it on the couch, straight from the carton (now you guys know why I gained 15 lbs dating this kid).

Chicken salad too. If I’m missing my college roommate and/or Addison, I whip out the chicken salad (though it’s not as good here, guys. Lame). Hannah and I would get lunch together at least 2-3 days a week most semesters and I always go the chicken salad on a salad. Occasionally I’d get a grilled cheese, but then she’d yell at me. I miss you, Hannah, and the way you watched out for my dietary needs. Best. Maid of Honor. Ever.

When I miss DeDee, I eat Little Ceasars pizza. For Megan, it’s cheese fries. Chinese food makes me think of Addison too (he had a penchant for China buffet and would always take me there for dates). Hush puppies make me think of Elizabeth and Hannah. Chicken tenders make me of the whole cookout gang– brother included.

And this is why I’m fat. Luckily, I’m not eating all this crap. But if I drive by a place with these foods, I do think of you all fondly and say a prayer. I know it’s a weird thing that I’ve associated memories/feelings toward people with food, but I think it’s the Italian in me. I spent so much time cooking for all my friends and going out with them, why wouldn’t these memories be associated with food?

But I ramble.

So why am I writing about weird third wheel scenarios and odd emotional eating habits? I’m not depressed. Nah. I still go out and have a grand ol’ time painting the town red. But I guess I’m realizing now, there are just some people in your life you truly can’t live with out. Sure you have to, but there will always be a whole in your heart for where they stood.

The IT guy at work is my hero

Not only did my awesome IT guy create a countdown to the SECOND I say “I DO,” but he taught me about the magic of QR codes. Now I’m thinking about making some inserts for my Save the Dates using these cool little things. Here’s the first one he made me. He taught me how to do the rest so I can have it where when a phone scans it, it updates your calendar with our event. SO COOL. Thanks, Jerome!